Tim Burton Haunts My Dreams

For almost a year, I’ve been dreaming about talking cats and stressed out rabbits.  I am sure that Tim Burton has been directing my dreams, and the reason Alice in Wonderland has been on my mind forever.  So naturally, I had to see it opening weekend.  While I’m still excited to have seen the film, I am a little bit disappointed.  The graphics were great, even though it was a 2-d film converted into 3-d, it certainly entertained me to the end.  But for some reason I was left wanting a little bit more, feeling a little cheated, and feeling like something was really missing.  I can’t quite put my finger on it but one thing I can say is that I was expecting a little bit more The Nightmare Before Christmas-ish and we got more Harry Potter-ish.

Nonetheless, Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter were great.  I know some people are getting kind of tired of the trio, but it works for me.  HOWEVER they really should kick it up a notch if they do another collaboration together .  Anne Hathoway was just okay, Burton seemed to have tried to make her funny, but she wasn’t funny enough.  She could have taken that role and turned it into a Gene Wilder cooky character and then she would have gotten great laughs.  Instead she played a subtle kind of funny that left you feeling unsure if you should laugh.  The most misfit character in this movie for me, was played by Mia Wasikowska (Alice), who just couldn’t pull it off.  Her character was dull, extremely boring, flacid, and very forgettable.  If Tim Burton is gonna turn Alice into a warrior, then she should have been played by a badass, drug-taking, adrenaline junkie with a black-belt.  If he really wanted to throw some spice in the mix, he should have made her a feisty latina chick from brooklyn.  That’s the missing ingredient.  Last but not least, I did love the cool cheshire cat (voice of Stephen Fry) and the blue caterpillar (voice of Alan Rickman), I wouldn’t change them at all.

But alas, the movie was still good enough for me to want to buy the DVD.  The graphics were pretty good and it was well worth skipping the Oscars for this year!  From what I’ve been hearing and reading, it sounds like Burton could have directed the Oscars and added a little excitement to the snooze-fest.  Which reminds me.  Thanks Cablevision for airing your dirty laundry in all of those emails I received stating how you will continue to rob me blind, and yet refuse to provide me with basic cable.  I’m still waiting for the email telling me you guys worked out the politics on the playground and brought ABC back on the air.  Hope you don’t choke on the last check I just sent you.  The only reason I haven’t quit you is because I have no other choice – so suck it.

But I digress.

Tim Burton’s rendition of Alice in Wonderland gets 3 full bottles of 2007 Montes Sauvignon Blanc, Leyda Valley, Chile.

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